


Love Me Tender

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Eloping, Elvis - Freeform, F/M, Road Trips, just nonsense really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2013-10-24
Packaged: 2017-12-30 09:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1016815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dirk and Jane go on an impromptu road trip to Vegas</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Me Tender

**May 11 th, 3:46 PM**

Dirk sinks down to one knee, and your eyes go wide. He even takes off his shades to hook them into the collar of his t-shirt. He doesn’t look up at you until that’s done. The hand holding yours is shaking. (If it’s sweating a little too, you can’t feel it through the leather.) The other reaches into his pocket and oh my god he has a _ring_.

It’s absolutely gorgeous. There are seven diamonds in a neat little row, and you can’t actually tell the difference between silver and platinum but you suspect this is platinum – you know Dirk well enough to know that silver isn’t good enough for him. The sunlight makes it shine and you’re sure that’s exactly why he brought you to the tree where you had your first kiss, but didn’t let you stand in its shadow.

“So, uh,” he starts, and falters a little. You want him to get on with it, but pushing him would be bad form and wouldn’t even help and you’re not sure you can speak at the moment anyway. You realize your jaw has gone slack and you close your mouth. His eyes flick back and forth between each of yours and you wonder if he’s as speechless as you are. Dirk tilts his chin up and tries again. “Jane Crocker. Will you marry me?”

Honestly, you were sort of expecting a rap. But he already did that to ask you out in the first place all that time ago _and_ he just did one for your birthday so maybe he didn’t think that was original enough. Not that you can find it in yourself to be disappointed because oh god Dirk just asked you to marry him. And he’s going to want an answer, so you do find it in you to nod and stop fighting the grin coming on your face.

He grins too, and slips the ring on your left hand and that’s it, you’re engaged. You are _engaged_. You try to pull your fiancée (!!!) up to his feet and you start giggling, you can’t really help it. Nothing’s funny, you’re just happy now that it’s really setting in. Dirk gets your message and stands, and picks you up before you can do anything else. He laughs at your squeal. You cling onto him tightly as he spins you around. Oh, he’s spinning you around, that’s precious.

When he finally sets you down, you pull him with you for the customary post-proposal kiss. You decide that the only thing better than kissing your boyfriend is kissing your fiancée. (At the wedding, you’ll probably decide that the only thing better than kissing your fiancée is kissing your husband, but whatever.)

You break away with a gasp. “Dirk, we’ve got to plan a wedding now!” You’re sure he was aware of that already, now that you think of it.

“Yes, we do.” His wide grin has died down to a smaller smile, but it’s still a bigger smile than what he usually wears. “Do you have any ideas?”

“Well, nothing I’ve got my heart set on.” This is not a lie. Your grin dies too when you realize you have to _plan_ it. You’re not sure how much you’re looking forward to that. “Do you?”

Dirk shrugs in a way that tells you he definitely has something he wants, but won’t push for if you want something different. “I always thought a spring wedding would be nice. But whatever you want is cool.”

You nod at that idea. A spring wedding definitely would be nice, and it would give you around a year to work out whatever details need working out. That would be plenty of time. But then, that’s a year. You don’t want to wait a year.

Do you really want to wait at all?

You reign in your grin again, knowing that your idea is a long shot. “It’s spring now,” you say.

He doesn’t get your drift, as you were hoping. “I don’t think we can pull a wedding off in three weeks, though.”

“Yeah, but we could…” You don’t know if you can say it, at least not explicitly. Only his forehead wrinkling in confusion gets you to speak. “Dirk, how do you feel about Vegas?” His eyes widen. You feel the need to explain yourself, and you realize too many of your friends have habits of rambling that have rubbed off on you. “Well, planning a wedding is a lot of stress and quite frankly neither of us needs that! Next semester will be hell on you, and the semester after will be hell on me, so taking off some stress would be a good idea. Besides, let’s face it, getting all of our friends and family together in one place will be chaos. And we’ll be the center of attention, and I don’t know if I want that. And, you know, it would be nice to have our wedding be just us, you know?”

“Jane.” He places two fingers on your lips before you can start backpedaling. “Jane. That is such an awesome idea.”

You sigh in relief as Dirk drops his hand. “Honestly?”

“Of course. I don’t want to wait if we don’t have to anyway.”

“Well, we don’t have to.”

Dirk gets that smirk he gets when you plan pranks together, or when he’s just doing anything he shouldn’t be in general. “You want to go now?”

**4:02 PM**

“I need your parents’ full names and where they were born, and your SSN. You need to make sure you bring a legal ID.”

You pause in choosing between dresses to text back the information and double check your purse for your driver’s license. You’re so glad you have Dirk to think of these details. After he dropped you off at home to grab some stuff, he’s already booked a hotel in Pendleton for tonight (because road trips are fun, but sleeping in a car is not) and another in Vegas for three nights, and now he’s applying for your marriage licenses online. Meanwhile you’re still hung up on whether you should wear your only white sundress or your favorite blue and white polka dotted mini dress. You get another text from Dirk before you can decide.

“Oh shit, that reminds me. Don’t you think Dirk Crocker sounds way better than Jane Strider?”

“I didn’t actually think of that, but I do agree! :B”

Beaming, you pack the blue dress. You’re already breaking every other wedding rule, and you shouldn’t even be wearing white if you’re going to be honest.

**4:18 PM**

The two of you agreed to use your car rather than Dirk’s this time. Usually you take his car because it’s newer and the interior is nicer and overall it’s just objectively better, but your car has better gas mileage and his doesn’t have cruise control. When you pull it into the parking lot of his apartment complex, he’s already there waiting.

Dirk opens the rear door to throw his bag in the back seat. “Alright, Janey, we got things to discuss.” And with that, he shuts the door. You’re confused until he opens the other door to take the passenger seat. “We need to figure out where we want to do this thing. I mean, do you know how many wedding chapels there are in Vegas?”

“Can’t say I do,” you respond as you pull back out of the parking space. “Could I get an overview of our options?”

“Depends on what we want.” (About then your car starts bitching at Dirk to buckle his seatbelt. It’ll only stop beeping when he’s buckled. That’s another reason he prefers his own.) “Some chapels require formalwear, and I’m not about that.” Neither are you, so that’s fine. “So are you thinking something as close to traditional as you can get, or something kind of crazy and/or awesome?”

You hum in genuine thought. As Dirk points out a turn you need to take (“Probably should have mentioned this first, but we’re taking I-5 South until we hit Portland.”), you consider your options. On one hand, you want this to be romantic. On the other, kind of crazy and/or awesome can be romantic too. “I’m thinking we should have some fun with it, what about you?”

You see him smile out of the corner of your eye as he returns his attention to his phone. (You also see he’s ditched his gloves to show off the platinum band on his finger, which makes you smile too.) “I’m right there with you, Crocker. Any preferences?”

“But I don’t know my options!” You don’t know much about eloping in Vegas besides what you’ve seen in movies. In retrospect, maybe you should have done this research before deciding to do it.

“Okay, well, basically we could have an Elvis impersonator marry us, or we could do a drive thru wedding. Unless you know of anything better, I’m thinking one of those two.” Dirk turns back to you again to get your opinion.

Another tough decision for you, you think. Both of those sound pretty fun. A drive thru wedding is pretty much essence of America, isn’t it? Having an Elvis impersonator there is pretty much essence of Vegas though, and you might as well get in the spirit while you’re there. You’re leaving Maple Valley, Washington behind as you ask, “Is there any way we could do both?”

Dirk goes silent as he turns to his phone to check. You do try to focus on the road, but your new ring and your anticipation of an answer are really quite distracting. He takes a while to find an answer, too. You’re almost on Interstate 5 by the time you hear him laughing to himself. “Oh my god, we can! Okay, listen to this. ‘This is the ultimate Elvis Wedding.  You will be picked up from your hotel by the king himself in his famous Pink Caddy.  The King will then drive you down the strip to the Famous Special Memory Wedding Chapel where you can either be married in our New England Style Wedding Chapel or chill in the caddy at our world famous drive thru window.  The King will of course serenade you with three of his famous songs and then drive you back to your hotel!’ How does that sound?”

You’re laughing so hard that you can barely answer. “That’s perfect!” It’s so hilariously cheesy that it’s right up both your alleys. You can’t wait to tell Roxy that you’re getting the Ultimate Elvis Wedding.

With that decided, the two of you move on to picking which three songs you’ll be serenaded with. It quickly devolves into blasting Jailhouse Rock at full volume while speeding on the Interstate.

**6:57 PM**

By the time you reach Portland, both of you are too hungry to care where you eat. You pull into the first place you see that doesn’t look super crowded, which happens to be a Wendy’s. Dirk holds the door open for you and tries to get to the second door before you do to open that one too. The former you can justify as his Southern Gentleman showing, but you can’t help but think he’s being facetious.

There are only a few other people there, so the pair of you have ordered your burgers within a few minutes. You manage to get your debit card into the cashier’s hands before Dirk can try to pay. He doesn’t need to spend any more than he has, after all. “Aw, shit, look at this little high roller,” he says, mocking awe.

You roll your eyes. “You’re one to talk, Mister Platinum Diamond Ring.” You have to spare another look at it. You’re _engaged_. You’re going to be _married_ in a few days.

“But you don’t see me waving it all over the place, showing it off.” He waves around his own left hand in a way that does, in fact, show off his ring. You’re not sure if that was on purpose or if he legitimately doesn’t realize what he’s doing. You observe him skeptically, and judging by his smirk you’d say it’s on purpose.

**7:09 PM**

“Okay, but really, we do need to pick our three songs.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dirk takes the driver’s seat this time, leaving you to whip out your phone and browse through pretty much Elvis’ entire discography. “I don’t know about you, but I think Love Me Tender is pretty much a given. I’m open on the rest of it though.”

It takes you a second to remember how that one goes. You haven’t listened to Elvis all that much before today. “I think I agree with that.” As you browse, Dirk pulls out onto the road quickly enough to make you jerk back. (He can be such an aggressive driver in high traffic – and when you spare a glance, you see that traffic is indeed high.)

You stop paying attention to where Dirk is going and start paying attention to the task at hand. One name sticks out to you, and you’re pretty sure he played it earlier but you decide to play it now to make sure. _“It’s now or never, come hold me tight, kiss me my darling, be mine tonight…”_

Listening to it makes you smile. “This one seems especially fitting.” You decide to let Dirk listen closely to the words before he answers.

You see him smile a little too. “It does, doesn’t it?” He pauses his train of thought to make sure he’s in the right lane. He is. “Well, now we’ve got Love Me Tender and Now or Never. Our last one should be more upbeat, if possible.”

You nod as you return to the list of songs. Dirk is better at building playlists than you are, and you have several mixtapes from him as proof of how good he is, so you trust his judgment. The challenge is going to be finding a love song that fits his musical standards and your lyrical ones.

**7:26 PM**

It’s actually not that hard. You decide on Burning Love for your last song. Once again, you blast Elvis at full volume on a highway as you book your wedding.

**10:32 PM**

Dirk steps out of the car and stretches as you grab both of your bags. He frowns, but he’s got a door to hold open so whatever. It takes all of five minutes to check in, and you wonder how much money you both have spent. You covered the wedding itself and dinner, but Dirk covered two hotels and may be planning on getting a third when you figure out where you’ll stop on the trip home and you bet your rings were expensive too. Not that money is a problem for either of you, considering who you are, but by the time you get up to your room you’re feeling like you haven’t spent enough.

You wonder if he realizes how much he’s spent on you. You know he _knows_ how much, but does he _realize_ it? Even if you are severely overestimating hotel prices, platinum rings don’t come cheap. Maybe you’ll make him let you pay for meals and souvenirs, at least.

He lets his bag fall to the floor and drops in a chair to pull off his shoes. “We’ve got about a twelve hour drive tomorrow, girl. We better get to bed now.”

You’re not tired at all, but he has a point so you agree and set your glasses down on the table next to the lamp. You didn’t actually pack any pajamas in your haste, but Dirk sleeps in his underwear anyway so he shouldn’t mind if you do the same. Except you keep your t-shirt on instead of your bra, because holy hell is that thing uncomfortable.

Both of you are reluctant to take off your rings and place them by your respective pairs of glasses, and both of you are too excited to sleep.

**May 12 th, 7:19 AM**

You wake to the sound of running water muffled by a wall. You guess Dirk got up early to get the first shower, as he usually does. You crack open your eyes to see that you’re probably right. The bed is empty besides you.

You lift your head to check the time, and immediately fall back onto the pillow. It can’t hurt to try for a few more minutes of sleep. You don’t get to sleep though. The sound of running water keeps you awake. Instead you think about how Dirk is going to be your husband tomorrow and you’re still just not used to that idea. You think about how you’re undoubtedly going to move in together some time after returning to Maple Valley. You think about sharing all his things and cooking for him and surprising him in the shower. You think about surprising him in the shower right now, and that’s when you realize the water has stopped.

Dirk comes out with a towel wrapped around his hips, shivering a little and smiling back at you when he sees that you’re awake. “Morning,” he greets as he crosses over to you for a quick good morning kiss.

“Morning,” you mumble back with a lazy smile. You think you could stand to wake up like this more often. Maybe you could do without the wet hair dripping onto your face though.

He kisses you on your forehead and pulls away to dig through his bag. “We’ve still got an hour before we have to leave, so you can take your time getting ready and having breakfast and shit.”

Good to know.

**8:21 AM**

You take the wheel again for the morning, and this time Dirk doesn’t forget to tell you which way you need to go. He also chooses to play some of his usual music instead this time. Today as you pull onto the highway, you’re blasting the Glitch Mob instead of Elvis.

Now you’ve got about twelve hours in a car to look forward to. And…after about six hours in a car yesterday, you’re not really feeling it, especially now that Dirk is occupied by his phone. This could get really boring, actually. At least he has good taste in music, so it’s not like you have nothing at all to entertain you while he’s doing…whatever it is he’s doing.

In a few minutes he turns the music down a little so you can hear him without him having to yell. “Roxy says to tell you ‘butt.’”

“Goodness gracious,” you sigh. “Is she already drinking or is she just like that?”

“An age old question.” Dirk starts typing as he talks. “Are you gutsy enough a gumshoe to figure it out?”

Alright, maybe you were a bit hasty in thinking this trip would be boring. Making fun of your mutual friends is never boring.

**12:31 PM**

You have to stop for gas somewhere in the middle of Idaho, where pretty much the only thing around is that gas station. It’s combined with a McDonalds though, so you can get lunch here too. Dirk goes in to order, and he comes out with a drink in each hand and a bag in the crook of his arm as you’re finishing up.

You open the door for him and he immediately launches into business. “At this rate we won’t get there for another eight or nine hours. Do you want to stop for dinner again on the way there, or just pick up snacks here so we can have dinner late?”

“A late dinner sounds fine to me,” you tell him with a smile. He nods and retreats to the store again. You move the car away from the gas pump and follow him in so you can have a say in what food you get. He already has two armfuls of Doritos when you find him. “You sure you’ve got enough of the Cool Ranch there?”

His expression doesn’t twitch at all. “Never,” he deadpans. “There will never be enough Cool Ranch Doritos to satisfy me. They just don’t have any more than this. It’s a tragedy, I’m telling you. These guys need to learn what to stock.”

You leave him be with a roll of your eyes and go off to grab some sweeter snacks and some drinks. When you return to your car armed with junk food, Dirk decides he wants to drive again. You oblige so that you can text Roxy and Jake, since you haven’t done that in about twenty-four hours.

**9:13 PM**

The neon lights get you excited all over again. You’re in Las Vegas; you’re actually in Las Vegas! You always forget how much you love travel until you’re somewhere new. You don’t actually know what you’ll find here until you go out looking for it yourself. But you do know one thing that’s happening here quite soon, and that excites you more than the travel.

It’s hard to miss the hotel Dirk booked. The one you stayed at the night before was pretty average, but this looked like an actual resort. It’ll be nice to be able to drink and gamble right in your hotel on your honeymoon. You continue to be impressed when you actually get inside and check in, and even when you get to your room. He couldn’t get a VIP suite or anything on such short notice, but your room is still pretty great. You have an amazing view, a soft bed, nice furniture, and plenty of space.

You drop your bag and collapse on the bed. “Oh, Dirk, this is so nice,” you tell him as you stare up at the ceiling. “Can we just stay in here a while?”

“Well, we have to pick up our marriage licenses by midnight.” Aw, you forgot all about that. Dirk takes the spot next to you on the bed though. “But if you want we can have room service bring us dinner before we go.”

You turn your head to give him the brightest smile you can manage. “Sounds like a plan.”

**Author's Note:**

> This wedding package is [a real thing that you can really do](http://aspecialmemory.rezgo.com/details/6059/pink-caddy-elvis-wedding-package). Also I found some nice rings for [Jane](http://www.hydeparkjewelers.com/Memoire-Platinum-and-Diamond-7-Diamond-Band/DANVB4903/Product) and [Dirk](http://www.hydeparkjewelers.com/Tacori-Crescent-Platinum-Wedding-Band/RWBF2668/Product).


End file.
